My Internet’s all rainbow-colored so I guess I should write something


So, I’m not sure what to say honestly.


First off, cool, I guess. Good on the United States for finally starting to get its shit together regarding the whole putting federal chastity belts on everyone. I am glad for all couples who have sought to marry and now have that opportunity. I wish them well; let it be known that I do think this is a step forward.

However, I have other opinions on the matter. Let me tell a story.

Today, I heard a couple of people talking about the ruling. One guy said:

“Well, hopefully the gays can all just get along now.”

[May not be verbatim; it was heard with an ear filled with radical fury]

No. What the fuck does that even mean?

This is not the end of the battle. We have so much more to do. Especially if conforming to such a bullshit institution as marriage is considered an all-encompassing win.

I cannot support a stance in which the Supreme Court ruling is a good thing because it has the potential for propagating passive, hetero-normative queer politics.

“Radical Queer Will Not Assimilate”.

Drink up your champagne, but tomorrow, we have more work to do.


The case of the homosexual, non-alien predator.


When I was still a little faggot, sheltered from the realness of the world of queerdom, I used to go to one of Colorado’s few gay bars semi-regularly.

That woman clearly doesn't want to see whatever he's got.

That woman clearly doesn’t want to see whatever he’s got.

The first time I went, I was smoking in the alley when this guy in a white shirt came up to me, and asked me if I had a light. I handed it over to him, instead of a lighting his roach for him, so as to avoid the implication of cruising.

I was very drunk that night, so when the guy leaned against the wall I was leaning on and tried to talk to me, I crushed my cigarette and returned to the dance floor to slut it up.

The next time I was there, I had to piss like a horse, so I went to the bathroom as soon as we got there. Someone was having sex in the stalls, as usual, and I went up to the urinal. The guy stood at the next urinal, still wearing the same shirt, and asked me, as though not a moment had passed from our last meeting,

“So, you like Nirvana?”

I was wearing my Nirvana t-shirt at the time.

I nodded. I think I noticed the guy take not-so-surreptitious glance over the urinal divider. I zipped up my pants and walked out the bathroom.

Later that night I was busy slutting it up on the dance floor again. Well, trying to, anyway. I think that was the night I made out with a metal-head wearing a Beavis and Butthead t-shirt. He seemed nice, from what I could tell from his lips.

Then, white shirt dude comes barging through my friends’ dance circle. He gestured emphatically at me. I shook my head. I had no intention whatsoever of going anywhere with someone who couldn’t take two clear no’s. I turned around, ever so subtly, and started dancing with the nightly straight chick of the club.

Don’t be a fucking creep, I guess is the message. Keep your creepiness to yourself unless someone wants to see it. Seek someone who actually wants to see your creepiness.