A shower of blood and slime.


We had gone into the city for the special event. It was Halloween, and Totoro was in the car, smoking her cigarette in the back. Hoss and I drove to one of the suburbs to meet up with some friends.They were already done up in white lab coats with things like “DICK SLEDGE!” scribbled on them. We went inside to smoke a little and have a few pre-game drinks. We played a game of pool. We made what we referred to as a “party bowl” – a plastic bowl full of coke and whiskey. It was boozy. We were taking the subway, so that’s a valid excuse, right? Anyways, on the way to the station we brought along a Coke bottle full of the stuff, drinking it along the way, passing a joint surreptitiously between our fingers. We got to the venue. A pretty big place, and it served booze. Fantastic.

We had missed an opening  band which I really liked, American Sharks. Then the other band played, a kind of mix of dub and metal or something. The circle pit was already rowdy, and people were still trickling in. Everybody crowded to the front. Eventually we were ebbing and flowing in a stormy sea of anatomy in the reins of the filtered screams. I turned to see Totoro keeping herself afloat. We rocked on the sea, pushing, shoving, until it was over, done, as if a wind had blown the storm out. Everybody stood there, panting, taking gulps from their tall boys. Then the lights dimmed once more.

GWARRRRRR! Our alien overlords were on the stage. The show was centered around some sort of plot that was about trying to get Oderus Urungus back from the dead, or something. I don’t know; I was drunk. That wasn’t really the cool part, though. The cool part was that GWAR’s new singer was on stage. Her name’s Vulvatron.

Isn't she beautiful?

Isn’t she beautiful?

Yeah, that’s Vulvatron. She’s a giant mace wielding badass who spits blood out of her tits onto the audience. *sigh*

Along with tit blood, there was a lot of other shit going on. The band, as usual, blasted the pit with blood and slime. Everyone was moshing in costume, you see, so one time I kept a guy from falling down, and half his face was fucked up. 

But that wasn’t even the best part.

The best part was when the band decided to celebrate Oderus Urungus’ favorite things. So they brought out a bunch of giant needles and a hulking piece of plaster with CRACK written on it (Dave Brockie, the man who portrayed Oderus Urungus, died of a drug overdose).

But now I hear that Kim Dylla, the woman who portrayed Vulvatron, was kicked off the team, which makes me sad.

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