A poor man’s hookah


Whenever you find yourself silently craving that sweet shisha, but you hardly have money to wash those rotting rags on your body you call “clothing” fear not! For I have created the poor man’s hookah!

1. Unwrap a Jolly Rancher. Any flavor you choose. The world is your oyster: blue-flavor, purple-flavor, green-flavor, etc. You can essentially taste any color, any color that matters, anyway, that you desire. Put said Jolly Rancher in mouth. Allow the taste to swirl in your mouth.

2. Light a cigarette. I prefer the Marlboro Red 100’s, but I understand there are people out there who choose an inferior lifestyle. Puff on the cigarette, and relish the Jolly Rancher flavor.

3. Smoke contentedly for a while. Realize the shameless nature of the act you just committed. Contemplate your sorry financial affairs.


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