A poor man’s hookah

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Whenever you find yourself silently craving that sweet shisha, but you hardly have money to wash those rotting rags on your body you call “clothing” fear not! For I have created the poor man’s hookah!

1. Unwrap a Jolly Rancher. Any flavor you choose. The world is your oyster: blue-flavor, purple-flavor, green-flavor, etc. You can essentially taste any color, any color that matters, anyway, that you desire. Put said Jolly Rancher in mouth. Allow the taste to swirl in your mouth.

2. Light a cigarette. I prefer the Marlboro Red 100’s, but I understand there are people out there who choose an inferior lifestyle. Puff on the cigarette, and relish the Jolly Rancher flavor.

3. Smoke contentedly for a while. Realize the shameless nature of the act you just committed. Contemplate your sorry financial affairs.

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