Remorseful Beggar’s Drink


3 oz of Canadian Mist (a terrible whiskey, but cheap)

6 oz of Coca Cola (enough to distill the horrid taste and drown your sorrows)

Tears from your eyes (use an onion, if necessary)

Mix well and serve.

Try not to think about your troubles.

Succumb to your despair.

Assume a fetal position.